Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Style Ends With Aliyah

Style Ends With Aliyah: You can tell the year that someone moved to Israel by the clothes that they wear. Here’s how. (Published @ Jewlarious)


Style Ends With Aliyah

by David Kilimnick

# You can tell the year that someone moved to Israel by the clothes
that they wear.

You can tell the year that
someone moved to Israel (Aliyah) by the clothes they wear.

You make Aliyah and your wardrobe
is set for the rest of your life. Style stops when you are not willing to pay
more than 35 American Dollars for a new pair of pants that you have to iron. They
might sell it in Israel, but I do not buy anything when I can get it cheaper in
America. That is my motto, and I have held onto it since I moved to Israel thirteen
years ago. I have not purchased anything inedible in Israel, since my Aliyah. A
few times, I even surprised myself by buying dinner.

Us American Olim have a warped
sense of this American style we hold so dear. And that style is at a permanent
place in time, from the eternal day that we made Aliyah. The day where America
was perfect and people had personalities. A time when Marshalls and Kohl's were
a place I could be proud to shop at. A time when one could be proud to flash
that 20% off coupon. A time when all stores gave that lifetime guarantee. Ah…

OK, here are my Ways to Tell the
Time Period of the Immigration:

Immigrant by Clothes
Walk the streets in Israel and
use my cheat sheet below to ascertain their exact year of Aliyah:

Polo symbol on shirt- 1985
Tommy Hilfiger- 1996
Girbaud sign on jeans- 1993
Shoulder pads - any year in the
ACDC shirt- 1979
iPod shuffle on sleeve- 2008
bell-bottoms- 1971 or 2006
corduroy - hand-me-downs from any
Jean skirt - any girl who is
still in seminary
Members Only jacket - 1987
Non-ironed shirt with fraying
collar – 2003
Anything you put on an iron- pre-1998
Anything brought to a cleaners,
to make sure it is spick and span –trick question as this person still lives in

Immigrant Suit
The Aliyah truth is most evident
with suits. People may travel back for shirts and pants, but never does one buy
a new suit in Israel. Israel is a once a year suit society. You do not need
another suit, unless you are getting married twice that year. For the once a
year when it’s required, I am fine wearing my bar-mitzvah suit. I have had a
growth spurt since, but I am fine with my socks showing.

For a fun activity, sit outside
of any synagogue on a Friday night and you can tell. The guy walking with a
double breasted suit, he made Aliyah in the 1980s. Three piece suit - anybody
who thinks they are important or from Europe, or perhaps a hand-me down. No
suit jacket- an immigrant who thinks he is Israeli; meaning, just moved to
Israel within the past two years.

Immigrant Hair
Aliyah is a vortex of style. You
leave America and you do not realize that there have been changes. Some people
never saw Cheers, never heard of Simon & Garfunkel. Some youth never used
mousse in their hair.

When it comes to hair, people
think that the way they left America is the way ‘cool’ is. I know people who
still think it is the ‘in thing’ to have a step.

OK, here’s my Aliyah hair cheat

Step in your hair- class of ’89 or
any fan of Bell Biv DeVoe
Girls walking around with a poof
in the front of the hair - 1983-88, or girl in seminary wearing a jean skirt.
Bangs- 1960s, a girl from the
'80s or a Beatles fan.
Top hat - 1920s or magician
Baseball hat- Jew who moved from
America who still thinks non-Jews are judging him in Israel
Goatee- single guy, or rabbi from
the 1960s
Comb over- Aliyah from any
generation, with no pride.

New Clothes of Old Immigrant
Those of us who made Aliyah many
years ago may still buy new clothes. It is a rare occasion that will only occur
on Entenmann’s purchase trips back to the US. However, we are committed to our
past. The clothes that we are buying are the ones that don’t have the hangers
anymore. The new clothes of the Oleh are the ones that have 6 red tags, for
each time they have been returned. The kind of clothes that I have gotten money
from the store for purchasing.

When I go back to America now, I
still ask for checkered shirts. I made Aliyah in 2003 and checkered shirts were
cool then, in the Latino communities. I even wear it with the bottom buttons
unbuttoned and the undershirt showing, with a bandanna. I have a friend who made
Aliyah in 1985 and he still goes to the Benetton, looking for jean jackets.

New Fashion Trends
I am not a fan of the new
“stylish” clothes that stick to you. That is what the kids are wearing
nowadays. That statement means I am coming up on forty. Skinny pants are in and
my nephews look wrong. I guess this means that my Aliyah pants are beginning to
look stylish, as I have put on 30 pounds the past 10 years.

We may give up clothes that fit,
but we do not need to give up our souls! That is how you know who is committed
to staying in the Holy Land:  if you see
somebody wearing clothes from a different century, that do not fit right, you
know, that that guy’s not going anywhere.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

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כשמטילים, לשמור על הכסף, תמצאו האמותות של היהודים בעיר. (דוד קילימניק על איך שהם נותנים אוכל חינם לשבת

Thursday, February 9, 2012

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אל תנסוע בלי המון אוכל. (דוד קילימניק על איך שכמו דתי טייל כל היום למצוא גלידה בבלגיה

Thursday, December 15, 2011

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אם רוצים שהילדים לא יאהבו הדת, תגרום להם לשבת בבית הכנסת לכל התפילה. (דוד קילימניק על איך שהילדים לא מבינים שהדת תלוי אל שלא מבינים מה אומרים והמשמעות של המעשים)

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

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עצות מהעולה החדש: אם אתה מורה, אל תלמד בכיתה. (דוד קילימניק על איך שאם כל הטענות והורים עם כסף, זה יותר בטוח ללמד כיתה א' ועידות וידאו)

Saturday, November 12, 2011

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עצות מהעולה החדש: אם אנשים רוצים לעבור, תזיזו העגלה (דוד קילימניק על איך שהוא היה צריך להסביר למישהי באוטובוס שאנשים לא יכולים לקפוץ מעל העגלה ואיך שהיא התעצבנה עליו שביקש ממנה אדיבות לקששים

Thursday, September 15, 2011

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אל תחליפו השם משפחה כשמתחתנים בגיל 30 ולמעלה. (דוד קילימניק על איך שהוא לא מכיר כל הידודת נשואות
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